- BY LESLIE CARDÉ Special to The Advocate
- JUN 29, 2017 – 1:00 PM
- 3 min to read
Four months after bringing home her adopted newborn daughter, Hoda Kotb still can’t believe her good fortune.
“Who knew?” said Kotb. “Recently, she was crying, I had just dropped a glass which shattered all over the floor, and the dog just pooped by the sliding glass door. It was 5 a.m., I’d just finished feeding her the bottle, and cleaning up all of the messes, and yet was still saying thanks … because I had her.”
That’s daughter Haley Joy, who only nine short months ago was nothing more than a dream.
“I always wanted children, but when I was finally ready, life started throwing me curveballs,” said Kotb, who returned to work on the “Today” show in April.
“I got a divorce, was diagnosed with breast cancer, and subsequent treatments left me unable to have children.
“I thought that ship had sailed, yet was so grateful for the rest of my life.”
Her best friend, WWL news anchor Karen Swensen, knew Kotb longed to be a mother.
“She’s always been one of the most nurturing human beings on the planet, and therefore I always knew she’d make a great mother,” said Swensen.
“We met back in 1992 when I first began working at the TV station on the overnight shift, and she approached me and introduced herself. I was the newbie, and she was the star, yet we became best friends fairly quickly. We lived next door to one another in the French Quarter, where we shared a balcony and communicated through walkie-talkies between our apartments.”
Kotb left for New York in 1998 to work for the NBC network in New York. She continued to climb professionally over the ensuing decade, through a marriage and divorce, a cancer diagnosis and treatment. But, in 2015, a pivotal moment sparked her to re-visit her prospects regarding motherhood.
“We did a story about a couple visiting disaster-torn Haiti. They ended up adopting children,” said Kotb, “and talked about how they thought they had a rich life, until the adoptions put things in perspective.
“Then last year I was in Rio for the Olympics, and I saw that picture of the little abandoned boy from Syria, with dust in his hair, and I thought to myself that I had a need, and there were children in need.”
Having grown up in a close-knit family, Kotb knew how important it was to have unconditional love.
Her parents immigrated to America from Egypt and landed in West Virginia by way of Oklahoma, where they raised Hoda, her sister Hala and brother Adel.
Kotb wanted to give the security of a loving home to a child of her own.
So last year, after discussing the possibilities of an adoption with her boyfriend, financier Joel Schiffman, who already had a college-age daughter, they decided to embark on the adoption journey together.
“I had to keep it quiet, as I didn’t know if it would ever really happen,” Kotb said. “I was 52 and wanted a closed adoption. However, I said I would welcome a boy or a girl, of any race. But you just don’t know if the pieces will ever come together.”
Swensen went into stealth mode, reaching out to attorneys and adoption agencies, making inquiries for her friend, Hoda. Swensen, who had experienced fertility issues before she eventually gave birth to a daughter, now 13, was eager to help her best friend experience motherhood.
And Kotb, meanwhile, referred to her waiting game with the adoption agency as her “project,” just in case anyone else was listening. She managed to keep the secret from her colleagues at the “Today” show.
The magical moment came less than six months later, with a voice on the phone that said simply, ”It’s a go.”
The agency texted her a photo, and then it was time to go pick up her daughter and think about a name.
“I thought she was a gift from heaven, and I just pictured her sailing through the sky, and picked Haley, for the comet — although we spelled it with one ‘l,'” Kotb said. “And Karen enthused about what a ‘joy’ she was coming into my life… hence her middle name.”
Kotb has been back at work for two months, but it’s been an adjustment.
“It’s been kind of weird being back, as I had spent all of my time with her,” said Kotb.
“But I have a pretty manageable schedule, because I come in very early, while she’s still sleeping, and I can be home by 4 p.m. I’m really only missing a feeding and a nap.”
So, will Haley Joy ultimately have a brother or sister?
“I’ll leave that door cracked,” said Kotb. “We’ll see.”
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